Wednesday, 23 April 2014

A Man Without A Plan-Monologue

You see the problem with you is that you had no plan.  No plan whatsoever. You just passed me on the street and took in my face and my legs and then you liked me.  You looked in my eyes when  you said hello, and then you said,  "I love her."  Then you heard me talk, and I surprised you that I was not just a pretty face, not like all those other women that you had been hounding for so long.  No, you realized this girl has brains. And so you became infatuated, obsessed, and you say in love.

But I'm telling you, you had no plan.  You had no plan what love entails, and so you showed up and did all the things you hear you're supposed to do when you're in love with a girl.  You pestered the shit out of me so I would give you my number, and you called me.  Now you were good. You didn't call me everyday. No, you spaced it out, working psychology on me, making me wonder if you really wanted me like you had said in your second call....frightening me, but at the same time exciting me.  So you spaced out your calls and between each, why, I too fell in love with you. 

You see, you had a smooth manner.  You learned how to get under my skin and stay there.  You cuddled up in the deep corners of my heart and warmed my belly from inside.  I remembered what I had forgot.  And I fell in love with you.  Before I knew it you were in.  Inside my house; inside my heart, and most definitely in my bed.  Yes, the sex was great, it was fabulous, it had been a long time for both of us, or so you said, but I had given up on all that and I was happy to keep my legs closed.  I had been tired of giving and screaming different names who hadn't bothered to scream mine.  But you, you did scream mine.  And I fell deeper.

The thing is you didn't have a plan.  Though you were working your two jobs, and I was working mine, you hadn't foreseen, or didn't think beyond getting me.  And when you got me and found out I couldn't always be there, what with my sick father and my children who were living with my grandmother;  I had to take care of them. I had to provide for all of them.  Then it was the job, where I took care of the elderly at the home, they called me all different hours and I couldn't always be home. You knew that.  I told you that from jump.  Then I had church, and I was trying to be deaconess. God knows I needed a little bit more saving then, and I still had to go to my AA meetings, being sober for 15 years doesn't mean I'm free of this vice.  I tell you now, the way I feel I would take a drink, but nah, nothing or nobody, especially not you is worth that kinda pain again.

So your plan or your non plan didn't work out. You must have forgotten that you didn't have time too.  Yeah you did the body building with the children almost for free, but it was a job wasn't it?  You had to be there.  You had taken on the responsibility, so you had to show up.  And so when you realized that we weren't together, you started looking at other legs, and other curves.  I found out, and you said, that you had eyes but your hands wasn't touching.  But when your hands started to touch and I couldn't take it anymore then you got mad at me.  At me?  I didn't do anything.  It was you with your philandering ways not me.

So you didn't have a plan.  You had no plan.  A man without a plan isn't no kind of man.

Copyright © 2014, Susan M. Wolfe~All Rights Reserved
 23/4/2014/A Man Without A Plan