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Sunday, 27 April 2014

FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS



He hadn't lasted longer than her pedicure she wryly observed.  Looking down at her feet, Susana realized that her French manicure was still quite in place, unlike the relationship with Andrew which had not only chipped but had most definitely broken.  She wondered then if she ought to go have her monthly pedicure that day, after all it was a way to mentally get off the roller coaster, but she was not ready for it to be over just yet.  Instead she pulled on a pair of ankle socks to cover up her feet and her feelings about the six week romance.

Susana had met Andrew in Barnes and Nobles, while she was shopping for a birthday gift and he was perusing the discounted books.  She had almost tripped over him, since he had been crouched on the floor,  looking at the books on the bottom shelf.  He had reached out to steady her, wrapping his large hands around  her bare legs.  They had then both apologized, Drew, as he would later call himself, stood up almost immediately while Susana, still  a bit unsteady, leaned against the wooden shelf.

Of course she had been instantly attracted to him, she had told Becky,  Drew was a "gorgeous specimen of a man," and it seemed that he had been a bit derailed by her as well.  After standing up,  he had tried to casually lean his shoulders against the book case not realizing that there was no horizontal shelf where he stood, but just the short display case for the forward facing books.  She had reached out to catch him, both laughing at their own clumsiness, and Susana  jovially poking at him had saying that they make a fine pair.

Still laughing, and looking for a way to maintain the conversation, Drew had said if they would make a fine pair then they would be looking for the same things.  Susana then quickly scanned the books that he had left laying on the floor,  and had said that she was trying to get back in her game, and was looking for Weight Lifting For Dummies.  They had laughed again at the obvious lie, and he had invited her to have coffee at the Starbucks CafĂ© there in the bookstore.

How could she not be attracted to him?  He had a beautiful face, with long dark eyelashes rimming his hazelnut coloured eyes, but beyond that his body was so well defined he could have been a scientific model.  The conversation between them was immediately magnetic and flirtatious, and Drew had asked if she would go with him to a fund raiser picnic the next day.  She had accepted and had warned him, that although she was relatively fit, she really knew how to eat.  They had parted company then with the anticipation of their Saturday date, and Susana had immediately canceled her plans for the following night, just in case.

Sitting in the nail salon that same Friday afternoon, she replayed their conversation from earlier.   She had to admit that it was quite uncanny how well they had connected in such a short space of time. It was obvious they had hit it off and were sexually attracted to each other, but Susana wondered if she should downplay that end.  She thought that she was now finally ready to settle down.  It had been six months since her last promising boyfriend, and though she had gone on dates, she had not found anyone worth bringing home to her parents.   Susana wondered what the date was going to be like, and if Andrew could be the one.   Even though she admonished herself, she couldn't stop thinking about what he would be like in bed  .

The fundraiser picnic had been organized by the gym where Drew gave classes, and trained professionally. Susana had worn a simple yellow summer dress that allowed her to show off her athletic shoulders, though Drew had pinched her biceps and in mock disdain told her that he could help her build up those scrawny arms.  Over the picnic lunch she learned about how he prepared for competitions, and the grueling workout routines.  Susana marveled too at the amount of food he ate, considering that he had not an ounce of visible fat on him.  She could tell that Drew had thought the same about her as he watched her plow a hamburger into her mouth.  She had been given the lucky genes, and only maintained her figure with lazy workouts at the gym two to three times a week.

Later that night they had gone out on an impromptu date. Drew had called her up and said if she wasn't doing anything, he would like to invite her to the movies. He had known she wasn't doing anything when he dropped her off at her apartment, but the date had ended, and though she had been disappointed, he had promised to see her again.  So later that night when he did call, she had pretended that she was indeed busy, and would have to check her planner to see where she could squeeze in two hours for a movie.  She had advised that in the meantime he should come to her apartment just in case something became available.

In the dark movie theatre, he had slid his hands into hers and she had looked over at him before letting her fingers glide between his.  They had sat holding hands through out the movie, sometimes on his firm thigh, sometimes on hers.  The electricity between them was great, and they both would later marvel at how the day before had already seemed like a long time ago.

It had been one of those things, Susana remembered, as she doodled his name on a piece of paper, they hadn't wanted the night to be over, so at 11 that same night they found themselves back at her apartment with a bottle of wine that they had bought from the liquor store on the corner.  They had gone outside on the tiny porch she shared with the neighboring apartment and had sat behind the boxwood plants that divided the porch in half.  Giddy with excitement and desire they had held hands and kissed blocking out the sound of the midnight traffic coming from below.

Andrew had excited her beyond her wildest imaginations.  He had been much more than a beautiful man with a gorgeous body.  He had been witty and playful; he had been intelligent, and  he had traveled extensively in the body building circuit, and as a man thirsty for knowledge and adventure.  Much of his travel had been done on his own, signifying to her that he had not been dependent on having a woman in his life, to complete him.  Yet, he had not been a loner, and spoke highly of the many male and female friends that were a part of his intimate circle.  And he had kissed her, teasing her lips apart, between asking her about her life, and listening intently to her tales..  She had shared more with him in the few hours on the porch than she had shared with her last boyfriend.

They had parted company around two thirty that morning, though neither had wanted the night to end.  Susana, a bit drunk from the wine and from the excitement, had pushed him out the door with a kiss, saying it had only been their second date, and that the rules state nothing happens until the third date.  Andrew had then reluctantly started to walk away, with Susana leaning against the door jam, her hips jutting forward as if begging to be held.   He had then turned around and walked purposefully back to her, his stride possessive, and he had scooped her body into his, and kissed her hard on her mouth causing her to gasp in response.  Then he had whispered goodbye, and had told her that he would have breakfast waiting at his house for the third date.

They had both slept through breakfast, and it wasn't until noon that he had called her, waking her up in a panic of having missed something important.  Drew had apologized and had offered to bring her coffee and bagels from the deli if she wanted.  Susana had told him that she would leave the door open for him and whatever time he got there would be perfect, as she was going back to sleep.

Drew had arrived showered and wide awake, while Susana was still in bed, wearing the same Pink Floyd t-shirt that she had worn to the movies and a pair of tennis shorts.  Susana had called to him from the kitchen, and he had come into her darkened bedroom pulling at her toes.  He had then taken all ten toes in his hands and had said, nice pedicure and had kissed each toe, sending shivers down her spine.  From under the pillows Susana had told him that she couldn't be kissed because she had not even brushed her teeth, but Drew had already crawled into bed behind her.

Desire had flooded them and they had made love.  Drew had patiently helped her to slide her clothes off, while from her half closed eyes it seemed he had ripped his off like a superhero.  He had discovered her heat and had buried his face in it, and she had moaned and had rubbed her eyes to look down at him.  She had let go with loud screams, and she wondered what her neighbours would think.   Drew had then dragged his body on top of her, his muscular frame melting into the softness of her flesh.  He had leaned over and kissed her mouth, whispering onto her lips that this was the third date.  Then looking deep into her eyes he had entered her.

Becky her best friend would later learn how they had stayed in bed all day, calling in only for Chinese take out in the early evening.  Drew had wanted to stay over, but they both knew that the workweek would prove a lot more difficult for their relationship and so he had gone home to detox, he had said, from her delicious poison.

It was then on their fifth date, a lunch hour date in the park, and exactly 5 days after they had met that he had kissed her and told her that he loved her.  It had been automatic to respond in kind as she had thought of nothing else since Sunday morning.  They had hugged and had kissed like a couple long familiar with each other.  It was then on that same day, and their sixth date that evening that Susana would move in little by little into Drew's house.

Those first days were heaven.  Susana realized that Drew had an enormous sexual appetite and she was willing to please him, and rediscover her own.  Drew became less strict about his diet, and even about working out, and they spent as much time as possible in each other's company.  After a few weeks though, they realised that they had to make accommodations for each other's lifestyle, and they both went back to hanging out with their friends and doing things outside of their relationship.  She would tell Becky that this now proves they are officially a couple.


Falling back on her empty bed, Susana picked up the cellphone to dial Drew.  She hadn't known what to expect, was he going to take her call?  They hadn't spoken in two days.  They had broken up five days ago, and she had called the first few days, each time just getting his outgoing voice mail message.  She had called again the following day, and there had been no message, just dead silence.  Each time she had left a message for him to give her a call.  This time though, she was determined to speak to him, and had planned to tell him that if he didn't pick up she was going to go over to his house.  But he had answered, and she had been speechless for a second.

"Hello?"

"Drew?  I've been calling you for days."

"Yes, but I was out of town," he answered. 

Sure. Right. And you didn't take your cellphone? She  played that rebuttal through her head but said nothing.

" So yeah, what's up?" he was still talking.

What's up?  Her mind wanted to scream I STILL LOVE YOU THATS WHATS UP, but she heard her voice saying, "I just want to know when I can come by and get my things."

"What things?  I don't see anything here that belongs to you.  I thought you took everything."

"Noooo. I am missing some things.  If you don't want me to come by I  can tell you where I left them."

"Its okay. You can come get them if you want.  I'm here."  She couldn't make out the tone of his voice.  Was he tired? Was it just really over.

Susana then reached for her sneakers.  She didn't want to see her toes. She didn't want to be reminded of that first day he had kissed them.  She hadn't wanted to recall how in her excitement she had gone out to get a fresh pedicure.  She didn't want to think about the finality of getting her things.  Her mind slid back to that day when it had unraveled.


She had been lying on the bed naked.  They had just made love, and Andrew had slid to the bottom of the bed to roll some pot that he kept in a porcelain cookie jar on top of the chest of drawers.  He barely ever smoked, but when he did, it was, he had said, to get perspective.  On the other hand when Susana smoked,  she became giggly and silly.  He passed her the joint and she inhaled deeply before climbing out of bed.  Standing above him, she wedged her way between his open legs and leaned her elbows on his shoulders, her breasts in his face. He took the cigarette back from her,  took a long drag holding it in for some time before slowly exhaling it up to her.  She took it from him and pressed her belly to his lips.  Andrew did not kiss her nipples, but he kissed her between her breasts while motioning to her to give him back the blunt.

"So, " he said, blowing the smoke away from her, "what are your plans?"

"What plans?" Susana asked.  "Do you mean like today plans? Or now, now plans?  Because now, now plans, I would like to taste you," she had then said, leaning down to kiss his lips.  "But today plans, well, I do have to do a bit of studying, and I am going to go meet my mother.  Remember I'm in the wedding party.  Uggh, I hate that sort of stuff, but I guess it's an honour."

"Whose wedding party, again?"

Susana grabbed a pillow and hit him on the head, "ours of course Drew. It's ours."

"Ha ha, " he said, "it could never be.  I don't think I will ever get married. Marriage is for fools, I think.  My mother has been married twice, and divorced twice.  Nah, that's not for me.  And look your mother is getting married again."

"I thought you hadn't remembered whose wedding?  And for your information, my mom is getting married once, my dad never did marry her."

"Same difference.  They lived together for, how long again, and then they splitville?"

"Oh my G-d, you're such a rat.  That's a terrible outlook you have."

"No my dear, I'm just realistic.  Nothing lasts," he said, pinching the end of the joint in his fingers.

"So what about us then?  You think we're not going to last?  So all this is nothing?"  Susana asked throwing her arms open.  She had been slightly annoyed, but perhaps the marijuana had begun to take affect, and she had playfully swatted at him to punctuate her words.

"Stop. You play too much sometimes."  Andrew had pushed the pillow away.

"Okay fine I'm done, I didn't know you were being serious. Gosh, you know how to switch things up."

"I asked you before what your plans were, didn't I?"

"Well I didn't know which plans you were speaking of.  But now I'm wondering if you mean my life plans.  Do you Drew?  Is that what you're asking me?"

"You can interpret it how you want to, I just asked you a simple question."

Susana walked into the bathroom.  She could feel the tension that had developed between them.  She had noticed during this last week that they hadn't been agreeing with each other like before.  Drew had seemed more closed, and less likely to engage in the childish conversations that they used to laugh at.  The "what if I were fat would you still love me, or the "if I were a mangy stray dog would you take me in?"  She had brushed it off because they still remained amazingly connected in the bedroom, and he had even introduced her to his brother and sister.

When she hadn't come out, Drew had found her in the bathroom.  From her reflection in the mirror he could see that her face had been moistened with tears.  He had come up behind her then, his thick naked thighs rubbing against each other as he walked towards her.  He put his arms around her and pulled her close,  kissing  her hair.  She had fallen limp back into his arms, feeling protected. She was glad that he had come to apologise for their quarrel.  This is where she belonged, she knew it.

Instinctively she had felt the stirrings inside her, as he had pressed himself into her back and a wave of electricity had caused her to push back into him.  She had closed her eyes then, waiting for him to push her shoulders down bending her over the sink, but he'd stood behind her erect though his manhood had stood limp and soft between them.  It wasn't what she had expected; she had wanted to feel the urgent onslaught of passion as his body slammed relentlessly into her while she gave into his demands; their demands.

She had opened her eyes then, looking at his reflection in the mirror.  He was still holding her close but his eyes were closed, and he had been whispering in her hair.  Susana started to listen, waves of fear, not passion gripping at her throat and her stomach.  He had been talking as if hypnotised, as if he had rehearsed this speech.  His voice was almost inaudible, but she heard his short sentences. Telling her then, that he didn't want to see her cry, nor did he want to hurt her.  He thought that it would be best for her to go back to her apartment and think it through.  He had enjoyed this time with her and would always remember the fun that they had shared.  He had a show coming up and needed to dedicate more time in the gym. She had so much to do with the wedding plans and school, and it was just the beginning of summer and he knew she wouldn't want to waste the whole summer away waiting for him to come back from the shows. He would always be there for her. That they had started out as friends and that they would always have that. That he had loved her and that kind of love wouldn't just go away overnight.

He had said so many things, that had left her weak and shaking, and she had leaned back into his arms and cried.  She had then did as he wanted,  no fight, just acceptance that it was going to be over, and she had gone home and cried some more.  He did not call the next day, nor did he return her calls, and she had gone through all of the stages of grief within the intervening days.  And it was on that day, at the final stage of acceptance, that  she had called him and he had answered, and all of her feelings had come back flooding her.


Susana had then unlaced her sneakers, and pulled off her socks.  She ran to the bathroom vanity and took out some cotton balls and nail polish remover.  On the bed her cellphone had been ringing with the distinctive "I'm Keeping You Forever And For Always," ringtone that signaled Drew was calling. He must have been calling to find out why she hadn't run right over to see him.  She didn't answer, but yelled to the phone.

"Sorry I can't answer your call right now. I've got plans," and she then started to remove her perfect French manicure.

(c) Copyright. SArthur, 2014